It’s Time to Tell Someone

There’s a sacred kind of courage in speaking the words you’ve never said out loud.

Maybe it’s the thing that happened that you’ve buried so deep, even you try to pretend it didn’t affect you. Maybe it’s the pain you’ve carried in silence for years, convinced that if anyone knew, they’d leave. Or maybe it’s just the ache of trying to hold it all together when you’re falling apart inside.

Whatever it is, can I gently say this? It’s time to tell someone.

Imagine hiking through life with a backpack full of rocks. Heavy ones. Some were handed to you, abuse, betrayal, grief. Others, you picked up along the way, shame, secrets, guilt, self-blame.

You’ve adjusted your posture. You’ve learned to smile through the strain. Maybe no one even knows you’re carrying it. But just because you’ve learned to carry it doesn’t mean you should.

Because silence doesn’t protect us, it isolates us. And secrets don’t disappear, they simmer.

The Research Is Clear: Speaking Heals

Psychologist Dr. James Pennebaker spent decades studying the power of disclosure. His research found that when people write or talk about painful experiences, they see measurable improvements in their physical and emotional health, including fewer doctor visits, lower blood pressure, and better immune functioning.

In trauma recovery, this process is called emotional disclosure, and it’s a core part of almost every evidence-based treatment for PTSD, including EMDR and trauma-focused CBT.

A 2020 study published in Frontiers in Psychology showed that verbalising trauma in safe therapeutic spaces reduces symptoms of anxiety, depression, and emotional dysregulation.

Put simply: What we don’t talk about controls us. What we name, we can start to heal.

Brené Brown says it best: “Shame cannot survive being spoken. It cannot survive empathy.”And I’d add: You don’t need a crowd. You just need a safe space.

What Happens When We Stay Silent. We think silence is safer. But silence is suffocating.

• It reinforces the belief that our story is “too much” or “too broken.”

• It feeds shame, telling us we’re the only ones who feel this way.

• It stops us from receiving the empathy and perspective that could actually set us free.

Unspoken pain has a way of leaking out sideways, in anxiety, burnout, short tempers, depression, or perfectionism. You might think you’ve moved on, but if you’ve never processed it… chances are, it’s still processing you.

Not everyone is safe. But someone is.

A safe person is someone who:

• Listens more than they speak

• Doesn’t try to fix or minimise your story

• Respects your boundaries

• Earns your trust over time

This might be a trusted friend, a mentor, a pastor, or a therapist.

Start with one sentence. Start with one moment of honesty. You don’t have to unload everything at once. Healing can happen slowly, gently. But it starts when we choose not to carry it alone anymore.

Maybe you were never taught how to talk about pain. Maybe vulnerability feels like weakness. But friend, let me remind you: It’s not weak to ask for help. It’s wise. It’s strong. It’s human.

If you don’t know where to begin, therapy is a really good place to start.

A good therapist won’t rush you. They won’t try to fix you. They’ll sit with you in the mess. They’ll help you make sense of the story you’ve lived, so you can start writing a new one.

Therapy gives language to what’s been locked inside. It gives you tools to heal. not just cope.
And it offers you a relationship built on trust, compassion, and professional guidance.

So maybe this is the sign you’ve been waiting for. To speak. To be seen. To take the first rock out of your backpack. Because healing begins the moment you stop carrying it alone.

And sometimes, freedom sounds a lot like: “Hey, can I tell you something?”

Disclaimer: The resources provided on this site are for educational purposes only and are not intended as a replacement for professional therapy, counselling, or medical care. Please consult with a licensed mental health clinician for any personal concerns or questions. In case of a crisis, contact emergency services immediately.